


Cigarettes and Coffee

by exxtravirginoliveoilx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Childhood Friends, F/F, F/M, Female Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Major Original Character(s), Male-Female Friendship, Multi, Original Character(s), Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Slow Burn, all the young dudes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:47:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29847276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exxtravirginoliveoilx/pseuds/exxtravirginoliveoilx
Summary: There isn't enough wlw fan fiction (and writing in general) so I wrote this. Tonk's complete backstory based on ATYD (which is canon in my mind). I know this is tagged Remus/Tonks but don't worry they are both gay. This is supposed to be an exploration of Tonk's time at Hogwarts and the events that lead to her and Remus getting married.
Relationships: Nymphadora Tonks/Original Female Character(s), Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MsKingBean89](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsKingBean89/gifts).
  * Inspired by [All the Young Dudes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057010) by [MsKingBean89](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsKingBean89/pseuds/MsKingBean89). 



Before I start I just wanted to say a few things:

1) I'm not British and so I haven't really bothered trying to mimic British slang because I know I'll sound dumb. That being said if you are British and would like to help me out/ be a beta reader I would greatly appreciate it. Just leave a comment with your Tumblr or some other social media and I will reach out. 

2) Even if you aren't British I would love to have some beta readers. 

3) Fuck Jennifer. This fic takes place in the world of All The Young Dudes which I (personally) hold to be canon. I feel that JK Rowling has completely perversed the HP world to fit her racism, homophobia, and sexism. I want no part in that. If you feel my representation is in anyway harmful please let me know right away. Fanfiction should be a place for us to escape, and I would hate to cause more pain for anyone. However this is one of my first times writing fiction, so I will probably make mistakes. Again feel free to reach out in the comments. 

4) I'm trying to make this as close to canon as possible, but it might waver in some spots. 

The eighties were DRY as hell as far as music goes, so I as much as I wish I could there won't be many music references. Maybe more later in the fic as grunge becomes more popular, but just assume that Tonks has good taste and listens to the oldies like Bowie.

5) Title is a work in progress. 

03/04/20  
As of now I've written the first 2,000 words and I need to edit it. I'm hoping to post once a week, but who knows. I'm not the most reliable. 

03/13/20  
I've now written the next chapter, but I need to edit it. I don't want to release the next chapter until I've written the one after it so then I have a little bit of wiggle room.

Hope you enjoy.  
x


	2. October 1989

October 1989  
Tonks lay across the length of the Hufflepuff common room couch her head resting on Alex’s legs and her feet flopped over Danny’s. She groaned, “It’s just not fair, Flitwick assigned an eight-page paper on Revealing Charms for this weekend, and the ink has to be concealed.”   
Alex rolled her eyes, “We all got the same homework Tonks, I think it’s perfectly fair.”   
“Ugh you’re such a good Hufflepuff,” Tonks replied. “And it’s not fair. He never explained how protect against the charms. He just showed us how to use them.”   
“It’s called researching,” Danny piped in, briefly glancing up from his book on the history of the elven race. This argument was muscle memory for them and held no more weight than if they were talking about the weather.   
Tonks sighed, “Whatever, the point is that it’s the last nice weekend of fall, and I would rather not spend it couped up inside researching.” She made sure to put extra emphasis on the last word.   
“That I can agree with,” Alex said. “Neil and I are going to go explore the lake. We think we can finally make it to the island.” Tonks felt a sting at the mention of Neil, the lake had been her and Alex’s project since they met second year. Every year since, they had tried to reach the elusive island that sat in its center, and every year they failed, but at this point it was tradition. The first time they tried they stole the first-year boats, and rowed towards the center, but whenever they got close enough to see the sand of the shore the boat began to fill with water and would not stop until they turned around, so instead they spent that first year rowing the boat around the edge of the lake. They taught themselves how to fish using magic, and even befriended a lonely mermaid. In the winter the lake never froze, and freezing charms didn’t work on the water, so walking across wasn’t an option. Last fall, fourth year, Alex had learned about gillyweed through Professor Sprout, and they spent a small fortune ordering enough for the two of them. Swimming proved futile and very dangerous. They were both almost killed by merepeople, and Dumbledore had banned them from going into the lake for the rest of the school year.   
“Oh yeah, bet Neil has some genius plan, does he?” Tonks snapped. She felt Danny let out a sigh. In reality she quite liked Neil, but she just couldn’t stand when Alex referred to themselves as ‘we.’ Just because two people were dating didn’t mean they suddenly became a single unit. Alex was still her own person.   
“He does actually,” Alex replied, choosing to ignore Tonks’ sarcasm. “Honestly, I can’t believe we didn’t think of it sooner. Especially with your transformation abilities.” Alex winked. Everyone knew about Tonks’ unique ability to shift her appearance at will, but Alex liked to pretend it was their dirty little secret. In response Tonks morphed her mouth into a cat and hissed. It was quite disconcerting to watch if one was not accustomed to Tonks’ frequent transformations, but Alex had been watching Tonks shift her appearance for five years and just laughed.   
“What are we going to do? Transform into fish?” Tonks asked once her face had returned to human form.  
“Something like that,” replied Alex mysteriously. Tonks rolled her eyes.  
“So, it’s gonna be like that huh?” Alex didn’t respond, just smiled and shook her head lightly. The group settled back into a comfortable silence as Alex turned her attention back to the book she was reading, a muggle book called The Catcher and the Rye. As much as Tonks nagged them about reading too much this was where she was the happiest, lying between Danny and Alex listening to their breathing and the ruffling of pages, the quiet hum of the Hufflepuff common room surrounding them like a hug. Tonks watched the sun drop below the horizon through the circular windows that surrounded the common room. The sky was a brilliant orange dotted with pink clouds, and from her position on the couch she could just see the light reflected on the lake making it look like it was made of strawberry ice cream.   
“Look guys it’s a full moon,” noticed Danny. Tonks glanced to the window farther to her left and sure enough, just emerging from behind a cloud the moon shone golden and brilliant. 

***

“There is no way that this is going to work,” Tonks muttered. She was standing next to the Black Lake at 7:00 in morning, and while the days of October were still warm, the mornings were proving to be a different story. “It’s a bit nippy, yea?”   
“Oh, shut up, this was your idea,” Alex shouted back. Alex and Neil were huddled next to each other discussing their transfiguration spells. It was true, Tonks had suggested that they wake up early enough to swim at sunrise but faced with the reality of skipping breakfast and coffee paired with the sting of fall weather, she was quickly re-evaluating. The plan was relatively simple; they were going to transform into fish, well partially. They were going to transform their heads into fish. For Tonks this was a relatively easy endeavor it just involved a lot of concentration and a certain level of understanding of fish anatomy, which, thanks to some last-minute research the night before, she had. Alex and Neil, however, had spent the past week researching Animagus and transfiguration spells. Eventually they had come upon a spell that allow them to partially transform into any animal of their choice for a limited amount of time, usually around an hour. The key was doing the spell well enough that they could breathe underwater. It was easy enough to create the appearance of a transformation it was another to truly become something else. Tonks sat down on the dew-covered grass and watched Alex and Neil mutter back and forth. Alex’s back was turned to her and Tonks watched her long black hair swish down her back as she talked. The sun rose behind her head making it look like her head was the center of the sun. Neil said something and Alex leaned her head back to laugh, and sunlight poured onto Tonks’ face so bright that she had to look away.   
“I think we’re ready,” Neil said excitedly. Tonks stood up and stretched.   
“About time. I was about to fall back asleep,” she yawned. Neil bent over to strip off his robes down to his boxers. He was lean from long Quidditch practices and the naturally lankiness that comes with teenage boyhood, and his brown skin glowed copper in the morning sunlight. Looking at his muscular arms and toned stomach Tonks felt a stab of discomfort and hesitated to take of her own robes.   
“Hurry up Tonks, I’m freezing,” Alex giggled. Tonks turned and saw that Alex had already stripped down to her underwear. Her stomach was soft and pale and dotted with moles. Tonks quickly looked away and down at her feet. Then she grinned, ripped off her clothes, and charged towards the lake, yelling until she hit the water. It was cool beneath the surface, but comfortable. She had chosen to transform into a Perch because she thought its head looked funny. She opened her eyes and saw a school of fish swim away into the darkness ahead. Seagrass tickled her toes. She looked to the left and saw Alex’s body with the head of a dolphin and to her right Neil twirled around with the head of a squid. It had been easiest to transform into non-magical species because they didn’t have to understand the interworking’s of the fish’s magic. Seeing her part-fish friends was a very disconcerting sight and Tonks wondered if this was how other people felt when they saw her transform her nose into a pig snout or shift her face to mimic a teacher.   
Alex motioned them forward away from the shore and into the dark water. She was holding a glowing compass that they had enchanted to lead them to the island. Tonks had the advantage of being able to grow webs between her toes and glided easily through the water. She hovered behind Alex and Neil watching them swim and admiring their closeness. Time seemed to slow and warp as they swam further into the dark water. The only indication that they were going the right direction was the compass. Murky waters stretched in every direction and trickles of sunlight streaked through from the surface, but there was no indication of how far they had swum.   
Tonks was starting to get impatient. Her stomach growled from exercising on an empty stomach and as far as she could tell they hadn’t made any progress. Then to her left she saw a pink flash. She tried to cry out to warn Alex and Neil, but quickly realized that perch were not loud creatures. Before she could reach for her wand, she felt the tentacles of the lake’s resident octopus grab her leg. The creature whipped her around and she could no longer see Alex or Neil. Then the octopus began to drag her rapidly through the water. She tried to twist around and hex it, but she was moving too fast to get a good shot and was afraid that she might accidentally hit her friends instead. Anyway, she wasn’t afraid the octopus was going to hurt her. She and Alex had been swimming in the lake for years and had quickly learned which creatures were friendly and which to stay clear of. The octopus had never showed much interest in them, and when it did approach it usually just watched or let out a tentacle for them to play with.   
Tonks decided to settle into the ride and accept the fate of where she was being taken. The octopus was probably another one of Dumbledore’s security charms designed to protect the island or protect students from the island. Tonks was unsure which. She did know however, that one old man was not going to stop her from setting foot onto it before she graduated.   
The octopus abruptly stopped and threw Tonks up onto shore. She lay gasping on the sand unable to breathe for a few moments before realizing that her head was still transformed into a fish. To her left, Alex and Neil seemed to be having the same issue except they couldn’t transform at will. Tonks shifted her head back into human form, leapt to her feet, and quickly shouted the incantation that would return their heads back to normal, starting with Alex and then Neil. It was a difficult spell to pull off, and they had been relying on the transformation wearing off after an hour or so, but Tonks had always had a knack for transfiguration and preformed the charm with relative ease. Within seconds their heads had returned to normal.   
“Holy shit,” said Neil, once his breathing had slowed down. They all looked at each other and grinned. Tonks took in the scene of all of them washed up on the beach like survivors of a shipwreck and started to laugh. She collapsed onto the beach holding her stomach and soon they were all cackling and rolling around in the sand. Tonks was pretty sure they were delirious from being underwater all morning.  
“We’re never going to make it to that damn island,” sighed Alex when they had all calmed down.   
“Hey, come on now, never say never,” Neil replied good spiritedly.   
“I’ll be damned if I let Dumbledore and his games get the best of us,” spat Tonks. She could practically feel Neil roll his eyes.   
“He’s not playing games. He just wants to keep people safe.”  
“Yeah, whatever.”  
“Children, children,” chided Alex. “I think we all just need some food. We’re all very tired, and I do not want to hear you two bicker.”   
Tonks huffed, but followed her when she got up and began to lope down the beach towards where they had left their clothes. 

Breakfast was in full swing by the time they had dried off and changed back into their robes, and Danny sat waiting patiently at their usual spot at the far end of the Hufflepuff table. He looked up from his book and took them in, “I’m assuming you didn’t make it then.”   
“Oh, shut it,” snapped Tonks as she flopped into the seat next to him. She reached across him to grab the eggs and bread. Neil and Alex sat down across from them. He began to fill her plate with pumpkin pancakes, and she smiled at the side of his head. Tonks thought she might puke.


	3. October 30 1989

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween

CW: hints of homophobia/transphobia, drugs and alcohol 

Tonks woke up to the cold nip of late October air against her nose. The month had passed by in a whirl of schoolwork and adventures across the grounds. October was Tonks’s favorite month; she loved how the hot fog of summer began to dissipate under the cool blanket of fall, how leaves fell in a bright rain, and how the air promised change. It also marked the month where she was no longer alone; the month she met Alex. Tonks couldn’t quite remember her life before meeting Alex, but she knew there was a distinct before and after. The moment her life had begun.   
Tonks opened her eyes and peered out at the leaves falling lazily through the sky outside her window. Alex hopped down from the top of their bunkbed and landed cat-like on the ground, abruptly blocking Tonks’ view.   
“Get up lazy, we’ve got to prepare for the biggest night of the year,” she said before strutting out of the room to the shared bathroom. That was another reason Tonks loved October, Halloween. It was the one night a year where she felt whole. She could become whoever she wanted, and everyone loved it. She loved the feeling of her bones elongating, her muscles stretching, and looking in the mirror to see a stranger staring back at her. She loved being completely anonymous and secretly the center of attention. For the past few years, she had made it a game to match someone at the party so closely that no one could tell the difference between the real person and Tonks. Sometimes people went the whole party without realizing that there were two of the same person at the party, and Tonks got to live the whole night as someone else.   
Tonks was still in bed when Alex walked back in, freshly showered, “You ready to make some mon-ay?” she shouted. Halloween also meant that pot sales went through the roof. Alex’s brother had been the school’s main dealer, but he had graduated two years ago, and as a parting present had passed down the responsibility to Alex. Alex had an uncanny talent for herbology, but little desire to market herself or expand their customer base. Tonks however could hang out with and sell to anybody. She had the uncanny ability to morph into any group in the school and was generally liked by everyone. Together they were an unstoppable team.  
Alex jumped onto Tonks’ bed and wrapped her legs around Tonks’ hips and leaned down towards her face smiling. Her long black hair fell around Tonks in a curtain.  
“Want to tell me who you’re going to be this year?” she asked.   
Tonks shook her head back and forth against her pillow, “Nope, that would ruin the surprise.”   
Alex sighed, “Well I’ll tell you what I’m going to be, since I know you’re dying to know.” Tonks stuck her tongue out at her. “I’m going to be a devil and Neil is going to be an angel!” she squealed in excitement.  
“A bit basic don’t you think?” Tonks quipped.   
“Ugh—not all of us can transform into perfect replicas of Charlie Weasley,” Alex groaned and rolled off Tonks and onto the floor. Tonks felt cold without her and curled even deeper into her blankets. Transforming into Gryffindor’s Quidditch captain at last year’s interhouse Halloween party had been one of her greatest accomplishments. Her transformation was so complete that she convinced the entire party that she was the real Charlie, and Charlie spent the whole night being called Tonks.   
Tonks grinned at the memory, “Still, angel? Come on.”   
Alex didn’t respond just continued to water their plants.   
A knock came from their door, “Come in Danny,” they said together. He was the only person who ever knocked or wanted to come into their room. He pushed open the door and took in the scene.  
“Jesus, Tonks, you’re still in bed.”  
“How vey observant of you Danny,” Tonks grumbled, but she sat up and swung her feet onto the floor. She grabbed yesterday’s robes from the floor and slipped them on over the t-shirt and underwear she had slept in.   
Danny looked at her mouth agape, “That is a whole new level, even for you Tonks.”  
“What? We are wizards you know,” she said as she cast a cleaning spell over herself.   
“That is not the same thing as a shower,” Danny retorted.  
“I’ve learned to stop fighting it,” Alex chimed in. “She’ll shower eventually, it just takes a few days. Ready to go?” she asked grabbing her schoolbag. Tonks glanced in the mirror. Her dirty brown hair was piled in a tangled mess above her head, and her heavy eyebags sagged. She felt like orange today, so she concentrated until her hair was the perfect putrid neon and said, “Yea let’s go.” Alex tapped her head as she walked out the door and the tangles loosened, and her hair relaxed around her shoulders. “Thanks.” 

Classes went by in a whirl. Teachers were cracking down harder than ever in preparation for O.W.Ls and they were not about to let up just for Halloween. Danny groaned as they walked back to the common room, “I’m not even going to be able to enjoy the party with this much work. I have three essays due this week, three! And potions with Snape is hell. I swear he is the most biased teacher in this school. House unity my ass…” Danny continued to grumble as they made their way down the halls, but nothing could dampen Tonks’s mood. Light shown down through the windows and lit the castle in a bright orange glow. She didn’t care if she had ten essays, they could wait until after tomorrow. All she could think about was her transformation.   
“Oh, lighten up Danny, it’s one night of the year.”   
“Yeah, yeah. I know. I’m just saying it’s stressful.” Tonks found it hard to sympathize with stress over schoolwork but nodded in agreement anyway.  
“Anyway, are you going to dress up?” she asked. Danny wasn’t big on costumes and usually just went along with whatever Alex picked for him, but this year Alex had Neil to dress up with.   
“Oh, I dunno, I’ll probably draw some fangs and call myself a vampire.”   
Tonks sighed dramatically, “How did I manage to befriend the most boring people in the entire school.”  
They had reached the round wooden door that led to the Hufflepuff common room and Tonks leaned down to tap the rhythm to unlock it. In times of high security, it switched to a specific whistle rhythm, but usually it was a simple string of taps that rarely changed. They walked together down the cobbled, mossy hallway into the golden common room and collapsed into the couch around from the fireplace.   
“Want to play exploding snaps?” Tonks asked, restless.  
“I haven’t played that in years,” Danny replied.  
“Chess?”  
“My brain is too tired,” he groaned.  
“Let’s go for a walk then. Its gorgeous out.”   
“I just want to sit here, read my book and drink some tea.”   
“Danny,” Tonks whined. “Life is meant to be lived, not wasted sitting alone around the fireplace.”   
Danny scowled at her, “Reading is not a waste of time.”  
“That’s not my point,” she muttered. “Just come outside with me, please.”   
“Why don’t you go find Alex?”   
“She’s hanging out with Neil and besides I want to hang out with you,” Tonks said with a mischievous smile. Danny shoved her shoulders but finally gave in.   
“I know that’s a lie, but I’m tired of arguing.”

They ended up walking along the front of the castle and sitting under a tree just outside of the Forbidden Forest. Tonks entertained Danny by transforming her face into various different animals and seeing how quickly he could guess what she was. Tonks loved to see him let go and truly laugh, one that traveled through his stomach and erupted out of his mouth as he threw his head back. It was a laugh Tonks saw less and less as they grew up. Danny seemed more anxious and serious than ever these days, and rarely left his studies or talked about anything unrelated to schoolwork. When they both grew tired of the game Tonks laid down onto Danny’s lap and he fell back onto the grass.   
“Who is it going to be this year?” he asked.   
“You know I can’t answer that,” Tonks smirked. She loved having a secret. It seemed that everyone thought they knew her, but for these two precious days she had something all to herself. Danny shifted uncomfortably beneath her.   
“This year you might want to….you know—”  
“Spit it out Danny.”  
“…chose a girl,” Danny mumbled out the last of his sentence.  
“What?” Tonks asked. She sat up to look at him. “Why?”  
“Well…you know,” Danny looked visibly uncomfortable. “People talk, I guess.”  
“So? Let em talk then,” Tonks snapped. Tonks looked away from Danny and out over the lake. The whole sky was turning purple, and the lake looked strikingly dark in contrast. She felt annoyed at Danny. Why was he brining this up? She had never heard anyone say anything about her costumes. Everyone loved them. She turned back towards him, “What do they say?” Danny just looked embarrassed and turned his head into the grass. She shoved his chest and stood up. “What do they say Danny? What?”  
Danny ran his palms across his cheeks, distorting his face into an ugly contortion, “I shouldn’t of said anything.”  
“Well you did, so let me hear it,” Tonks could feel her voice getting higher as she got angrier, and she hated herself for it.   
“Yes alright, people just talk shit,” Danny spluttered. “You know, stupid stuff, like you do it so you can kiss girls, or whatever.”   
“Well, that’s bullshit,” Tonks said defensively. “You know that’s bullshit.”   
“Yeah, yeah. I know… I just thought you should know. I don’t want you to get hurt.”   
“I think I can handle myself, thanks.” Tonks stomped off towards the castle and Danny watched her helplessly. After a few paces she turned around, “Dinner starts in 10, are you coming?”   
“Oh right, yeah.” He stood up and they walked back to the castle together in silence. 

“Where have you chums been?” Alex asked suggestively as Tonks and Danny sat down across from her and Neil.   
“I could ask the same of you,” Tonks said directing her eyes towards Neil. Alex blushed a light pink and suddenly became very interested in the food.   
“Pass the biscuits will ya?” she asked. Tonks snorted but complied.   
“Did Alex tell you about our outfits?” He continued without waiting for a reply, “Angel and the devil! How clever is that?” He looked over at Alex in admiration. Tonks glanced over at Danny who met her eye and smirked. Neil’s love for Alex wavered between sickeningly sweet and overwhelmingly heartwarming. Tonks wanted to hate him, to have a reason for the tightening in her chest every time they kissed, but Neil’s puppy dog nature was impossible not to love. The bottom line was he made Alex happy and so Tonks was happy for them. She really was.   
“Tomorrow is going to be amazing,” Neil continued. “I think the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw team are going to come, and if the teams come it’s going to be a full house.”   
“No Slytherin?” Tonks asked casually. Neil’s exuberant smile faded.   
“I invited them, but you know how they are, like to keep to themselves.”   
Tonks thought that was a nice way to put it, but she let it slide. Neil was big on house unity and she couldn’t fault him for that. The school had been making half-hearted efforts to restore the school and unite the houses since the end of the war in 1980, but while the three houses had grown closer together Slytherins had secluded themselves away farther than ever. It wasn’t like the other houses had given them much of a choice. No one trusted any one after the war, let alone Slytherins, so out of shame or pride they shut out the rest of the school. They could be seen huddled in groups along the corridors and rarely spoke in class unless called upon. Tonks knew she had family from her mother’s side, The Blacks, in Slytherin, but she had grown up away from them and didn’t even know their names. They had never reached out and neither had she.   
“I just wished they would open up a bit, stop being so proud,” Danny huffed. “We don’t blame them for what their parents did. As long as they’re not bigots I don’t see why we can’t all get along.”  
“Oh Danny, you naïve little Hufflepuff,” Tonks cooed. “If you got out more, you would know that there are a lot of people that would disagree with you.”   
“Yeah, she’s right Dan, even most Hufflepuffs are pretty weary of the Slytherins. People don’t like it that I even talk to them,” Neil said sadly.   
“They’re a bunch of stuck-up twats anyway, so let’s not let them ruin our party,” Tonks said trying to change the mood.   
“Yeah,” Alex chimed in. “Did you guys hear what happened with Sylvie Hexone?” The conversation quickly fell into a discussion of whether or not Sylvie, and eighth year from Ravenclaw had shagged Flitwick’s new teaching assistant. Another thing that the school was doing to promote unity, hiring freshly graduated students interested in teaching and pairing them with teachers from outside of their house. It was supposed to discourage teachers from showing bias and allow students to learn from “diverse perspectives.” In practice, the teachers just gave their assistants all the dirty work of grading and continued to teach like normal. The only other significant change had been an unprecedented increase in charms interest since the newest arrival of a young boy from France to assist Flitwick.   
“I can’t say I blame her,” comment Alex grinning at Neil. “He’s quite the looker.” Neil feigned shock and held a hand to his heart.   
After Alex finished her second plate of pumpkin pie, (“It only happens once a year,” she argued and Tonks had retorted, “If you wanted to you could make it any time,” but she had just shaken her head and said, “It’s not the same.”) they all walked back to the common room holding hands and laughing. They were young and happy and full of pumpkin pie. 

The next morning Tonks and Alex woke up early, as was tradition, to watch the sunrise from behind the castle. There was a window in the Eastern tower that opened to expose a view of the purple mountains that surrounded the castle backlit by the excited beams of golden light. They curled up next to each other against the cold and nursed the hot tea from their mugs. Tonks felt tense with the soft form of Alex curled up between her legs, but as she watched the sky dance and swirl with the shifting forms of clouds she began to relax. Soon she forgot to be awkward, and they were huddled together just as they had as kids beneath the sheets of Tonks’ bed. The sun was just about peak over the crest of the mountains when Alex broke the quiet that blanketed them, “I can’t believe I’ve known you for four years.”   
“Yeah,” murmured Tonks not wanting to break the magic of the moment.  
“I love you so bloody much,” Alex said and looked up.   
“Love you too,” Tonks said and looked away. They had been saying it for years, but it still made Tonks uncomfortable, these dramatic blurts of affection. They felt so intimate, but Alex said it so casually, like it cost her nothing. The first time it had happened Tonks had just spluttered unable to respond, and Alex had laughed and said, “Chill out Tonks, I’m not asking you to marry me.”   
“You excited for Neil tonight?” Tonks diverted.  
“Neil’s a good guy, you two would get along if you gave him a chance.”  
“I like Neil,” retorted Tonks. “We get along fine.”   
“Yeah, like cats and dogs,” replied Alex sarcastically. The sun had fully risen by now and the bright sunlight felt too harsh to bear. “Whatever, we just need to find you a guy,” she wiggled her eyebrows excitedly.  
“Ugh—do not try to set me up with someone tonight,” Tonks groaned. “It never ends well.”   
Alex scowled, “I am a great match maker, thank you very much.”  
“I think Loui would disagree,” griped Tonks.   
“Hey! How was I supposed to know you would hex him into old age?”  
“Yeah... his hair never quite returned to its original color,” recalled Tonks fondly.   
“I just feel bad, I don’t want to shove my relationship in your face when you have no one.”   
“Jeez thanks,” scoffed Tonks. “I don’t have no one. I have Danny.”   
“Yeah, speaking of that,” sang Alex cheerfully. “Are you two…?”  
“What?” spluttered Tonks. “No, no that’s not what I meant. At all. No gross.”   
“Okay calm down,” Alex said hopping down from the window ledge. “I’m just saying it would be cute.”   
“It would be like dating my brother if I had one,” Tonks laughed. 

Tonks left dinner early to begin her transformation.   
She had learned that there was an art to choosing a good candidate. They had to be friendly enough with each other that they hung out frequently, but not so close that it would take away from the fun. Part of the reason she loved doing it so much was messing with her friends all night. Danny, Alex, and Neil were off limits. Anyway, it would be too easy for them to differentiate between the real person and Tonks’s impersonation. It also had to be someone who could take a joke.   
This year Tonks had chosen the Hufflepuff beater, Egor Walis. Tonks had been friends with him since the third year and they regularly smoked together behind the greenhouses, but they weren’t very close. His face also provided a challenge, which Tonks loved, because of the long splintering scar that ran from his right eye to the top of his lip. He had taken a nasty hit during a heated quidditch match against Slytherin his first year and rumor has it the ball was cursed because the cut never quite healed.  
Tonks had been secretly observing his appearance and mannerisms since the beginning of the year. She had found that the physical transformation didn’t need to be perfect as long as she could mimic the persons personality. She spent hours noticing how he loved to gesture wildly with is hands and boast loudly in groups, but if he was speaking to someone individually, he would often sit on his hands and tended to listen more than he spoke. He stood in a confident backwards slouch, leaning on his left leg. He subconsciously turned his scar away from people and was quick to smile or laugh. He was a hopeless flirt, but usually failed miserably.   
Tonks locked the door with her wand—there were no physical locks in the Hufflepuff dormitories—and began to prepare. She had overheard from Neil that the Hufflepuff team was dressing up as muggles. The laziest costume possible Tonks thought, especially since the majority of them were muggle born. All they had to do was wear the clothes they wore outside of school, but it made the clothing, which was her least favorite part, easy for Tonks. She took out a brown frumpy sweater from her dad and a pair of loose blue jeans. Then she laid down on the bed and began to grow. People assumed that Tonks could just shift between forms with ease, and she could, but full body transformations were painful and required full concentration.   
She started with her legs. She felt her muscles harden and expand, the bones stretching and expanding to match their new length, and then her hip bones clicked out of place. This part was the hardest and the most painful. She began to stretch her torso to meet the dimesons of her legs until she felt a pop and the sweet release of her hips popping back into place. From there she flattened her chest completely and stretched her arms and fingers. After her body was completely transformed Tonks lay panting and letting her body settle into its new form. Through practice she had mastered the accuracy and speed of her transformations, but it was never easy. She stretched her arms over head and swung her legs off the bed. When she went to stand, she knocked her head against the top bunk, “Shit!”   
It took a few steps for her to begin to feel comfortable in her new body, but she quickly got used to the heaviness of her arms and the length of her legs. Then she walked over to the mirror and sat down. It was always strange to see her face on someone else’s body, but she needed to be able to see herself transform it accurately. She took out a photo of her and Egor from last year and studied his face one last time. She didn’t really need to look; she had his entire face engrained into her memory, but it helped. She closed her eyes and held his image in her mind. She could feel her head responding to her request. The imprint of his features rippled across her face, and when she opened her eyes again, she stared back at the face of Egor Walis. She grinned his toothy smile and admired her handiwork. The scar was slightly too red, and Tonks allowed it to soften into her skin. After she was satisfied with her face, she laid back onto her bed and waited for the sounds of the party. 

She must have fallen asleep because next thing she knew she was jolted awake by the thudding of “Eye of the Tiger” from below. She groaned and walked over to the mirror dreading what she would see, but her transformation was still intact. A bubbling excitement grew in her stomach as she threw on a jacket and snuck out the door.   
The party was in full swing. Couples were making out on the staircase and music thudded the ground. The common room was packed to the brim. It was Hufflepuff policy to never turn anyone away from the door, so the parties were always over capacity. Egor was tall and Tonks could easily see over the crowd. She pushed her way towards the center where the drink table was. Her body was larger than she was used to, and she accidentally hit a few people in the back with her shoulder, but eventually she made it to the table.   
“Heya Walis,” shouted a group of quidditch players grabbing drinks.   
“Did you change your shirt?” one of them asked.   
“Nah, don’t think so,” Tonks grinned.  
“I swear yous was wearin a green cardigan, but maybe I’ve had one too many,” the man laughed and walked away.   
“Hey Walis,” Tonks turned to see Charlie Weasley standing next to her. In her transformed state she looked down at his broad frame and brilliant bright red hair. “Or should I say Tonks?” he whispered in her ear with a smirk.  
“Huh? Dunno whatcha talkin about,” Tonks replied, taking a sip of her beer.   
“You have a tell,” he said.   
“Seriously dunno whatcha on about,” Tonks said defiantly.   
“Okay,” he held up his hands in a mock surrender. “But don’t forget we grew up together, I know you better than you might think. Plus, I had the unique experience of seeing you as me. I spent the whole night trying to prove you were you. And you have a tell,” he said matter of fact. Tonks continued to sip her beer. “But don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.”   
Tonks finally broke, “Okay fine. What is it?”   
“What’s what?” Charlie asked innocently.  
“My tell,” she was getting impatient now.   
“Oh, I can’t tell you that. Then you’ll stop doing it and I’ll have no way of knowing who you are,” his eyes twinkled.   
“You are the worst. You know that right?” He just laughed and walked back into the crowd. 

The party was big enough that Tonks passed most of the night without getting noticed. She bounced from one group to the next chatting about quidditch and selling weed. She had sold almost their whole stock and smoke floated above the crowd making the whole room hazy.   
As the night came to a close Tonks leaned against the cool stone of the common room doorway and sucked on a joint. She felt warm and peaceful watching the play of the party from afar. She focused on Danny arguing animatedly with a Ravenclaw boy. She chuckled to herself. It looked like Danny was going in for the kill. The Ravenclaw had their hands up in surrender and Danny was standing tall and jabbing his fingers pointedly, probably about house gnomes.   
Someone jostled her shoulder as they walked past and muttered “Sorry Walis,” as they disappeared into the crowd. Tonks smiled to herself and felt the warmth of pride that filled her stomach every time she was misidentified. She leaned back and sank into the power of her muscles, the height of her body, and the steady thud of her heart. She was alive.   
She was jolted out of her contentment by someone bumping her shoulder. She opened her eyes to the face of Egor Walis staring at her, their eyes perfectly level.   
“Hey doppleganger,” he grinned and leaned on the wall next to her. She felt a twinge of disappointment that the game was over, and she was Tonks once again, but she pushed it away and turned her head towards Walis.   
“Tonks?” she asked with feigned curiosity. “I’m honored that you chose me this year.”   
“You are intolerable,” he laughed and reached out to take her joint. He took a long drag then handed it back.   
“How’d you find me?” she asked.   
“Oh, people kept asking me if I had changed my shirt, and eventually I figured there was probably two of me walking around. Frankly I have to say I’m honored.” They both smiled and looked out at the party in a comfortable quiet.   
“Okay,” Walis broke the silence. “Let’s see your best impression of me.” Tonks ground the last of the burning paper on the wall and stood up. She grinned and fell back into character.   
“Aye, you!” she said gesturing wildly with her hands. “You will not bloody believe what ‘appened at quidditch last night. Neil tried to stand on ‘is broom and jus’ fell on ‘is arse.” She paused and Walis burst out laughing.  
“That is so fucking creepy Tonks.”  
She just shrugged.   
“Also, I talk about things other than quidditch,” he shoved her shoulder playfully. “I’m going back out there. ‘Ave some fun. I won’t give ya away.” Then he sauntered back into the throbbing pulse of the party. Michael Jackson was playing over the speakers. Tonks sighed; the spell was broken she might as well go find Alex and Neil.   
After twenty minutes of fruit-less searching Tonks decided to give up and retire to the common room. She was starting to feel the effects of the night and decided to retire to the dormitory. She waded back to the staircase and around the couples lining the hallway back to her door. She paused with her hand on the doorknob. From inside she could hear the light tinkle of Alex’s laugh followed by the low grumble of Neil’s voice. She groaned internally and slid down against the wall, too tired for confrontation, and let her eyes fall shut.


End file.
